The Love (and Loss) of a Pet

My best friend had to put down one of his twin cats this morning after a 2 year battle with end-stage kidney failure. It was a painful set of circumstances, one that made me want to give our dog, Serena, a big hug last night and this morning.

While I had pets as a child, I had spent most of my adult life without one. Then, 7 years ago (might have that wrong, I'm sure my wife will correct me), I got my wife a dog for her birthday. I've never been a dog person, but my wife picked the perfect one, and I truly love our dog as a member of our family. I suspect I will be the one that cries the hardest when she passes away. There are days where it's hard to take care of Serena. She's a very moody dog, one that needs a LOT of attention. But it's all worth it, especially when she's showering our daughter with kisses and Catherine is giggling uncontrollably. Here's a pic from a number of years ago, her first big snow.

And one more, for good measure:

I'm proud of my best friend for rescuing two cats two years ago. He wanted to rescue two kittens and raise them. Instead, the rescue agency he got the cats from misrepresented their age. They were roughly 11 years old, and one was very sickly. He had a choice. Refuse to keep the cats, since they hadn't disclosed the age and medical conditions. He chose the other road. He gave them a loving home, one where they felt comfortable and loved by him. Myra, who he said goodbye to yesterday, leaves behind her quieter sister Zara, along with a host of memories, I'm sure.

So, for the 5 people who read my blog on a regular basis, I hope you'll consider rescuing a pet if you're so inclined. Rescuing a pet as opposed to buying one from a breeder can be harder. But it's also one of the more fulfilling achievements of my life thus far.

In Fond Memory of Roy Geddes

My mother's side of the family is from Nova Scotia, just outside of Halifax. As kids, my sister and I spent many a summer (and a few winters) there with our extended family. We had 5 aunts(Emily, Gloria, Fran, Rose, Laverne) and two uncles (Bill and Eddy) who all lived in close proximity.

Our Aunt Fran was married to Roy Geddes, who we learned passed away today. Roy had been having heart problems for some time, but was still spry enough to pop out to Peggy's Cove with us the last time we visited.

When my sister called tonight, we shared some memories of Roy. It's amazing how indelible some of those childhood images are. Roy would take us out onto the lake that crept up to the back of their house. In the beginning, it was in the canoe. But as we got older, I can remember vividly a yellow paddle boat. Roy had to be in his 60s then, but he always had enough energy to head out on the lake. For me, we'd paddle out to the island in the middle of the lake to explore. This involved Roy helping me explore all the caves and lost civilizations a young boy could form in his imagination. For my sister, it was collecting worms to head out and fish. It's so easy to forget about family in the haste of everyday life. And as sad as I was to hear the reason for my sister's call, sharing those memories was a welcome moment.

I can remember a day when we were caught in the middle of the lake in the driving rain, because I had begged Roy to paddle just a little farther. He always wore plaid shirts and round eye glasses. With water spots covering his glasses, he looked at me and smiled as we made our way back to shore. I'm positive I got in trouble when I got back, but Roy just sat there smiling. I may be making up my own memories, but I remember something along the lines of, "Oh, cmon, Dianne (my mother). The boy was having fun."

For me, Roy was always about finding an adventure. I know he had other qualities for his wife and children he leaves behind. But for me, I'll always remember Roy taking the time to let me explore.

These memories make me feel like it was yesterday. After not visiting my family for 10 years, I showed up a few years ago, wife and daughter in tow. It was like I never left. Roy is a great example of the family there that loved us and help raise us.

He will be sorely missed. But I suspect that somewhere up in the clouds, he's blazing a trail through the woods. And that thought makes me smile.

A Brief Moment

I hope all 3 of you reading will indulge me for a brief moment. Those of you that we call family already know most of this story.

We lived in a nice neighborhood the last 5 years or so. Or, so we thought. Ever have sand in your bathing suit after you get out of the ocean? Well, there were days in our neighborhood where we felt like that. Other days, it felt like bricks were strapped to our back, like the 4th of July night a kid in our neighborhood decided to throw an M-80 at our 3-year old daughter in our driveway (and missed, thank God).

We moved to a new house two months ago. Today, we finally finished a fence on a significant portion of the acreage (about 2 acres) for our dog and daughter to run around on. Couple that with me picking splinters out of my knees from refinishing the deck, and it's been a full week.

Well, my wife and daughter took our dog out tonight for her first big free run. I came out for a few minutes, but a daunting pile of work pulled me back inside. While I was inside, our dog ran the entire length of the fence, marked her turf a bit, then rolled around on the ground. My daughter thought that was so funny, she joined her rolling around.

How did I know this if I was inside? My wife came inside to thank me for our beautiful new home. In her words, "I just stood in the middle of the yard, looked around, and was so thankful." We shared a warm hug, and she shared the funny and heartwarming moments I missed.

Houses have always been sticks and paint to me. An investment. That probably goes back to being forced out of my childhood home when my parents got separated and my mother got separated from reality.

But I really thought that this house could be different, especially if my wife and daughter felt like it was a home.

Money can't buy everything, and it won't buy us a "home". Money bought us a nice house, but my wife's tireless efforts with my daughter while holding down two jobs are what make this our home.

So, that's it. That's my brief moment, and I appreciate you listening.

Family Reunion: Hershey Park

Still running VERY far behind on updates. Two or three weeks ago, we had a mini family reunion at Hershey Park. Casts in this movie were my cousin Serena and her husband Ron, as well as my cousin Tom, his wife Nicole, and his kids Olivia, Kiley and Jagger. Catherine had a great time with her cousins!

We spent two days at Hershey, and the kids had a ball. Catherine rode her first roller coaster. While she did look a bit terrified in the beginning, she was so excited when we got done that we went on again. After the second time, she cried because we headed to lunch. She was ready to go again!

There's nothing better, IMO, than spending time with family, and this trip was no exception. Here's a couple of quick pics:

Catherine, with her cousins Kiley, Olivia and Jagger.



Catherine on the Ladybug ride with her cousins.

OK, I'm Ready For This Week To Be Over

For those that follow along on a regular basis, you'll have read the post about the passing of Arnold Huberman. In 30 years as my best friend, I've never seen David struggle with his emotions until this week. Despite that, he eulogized his father in a way I didn't think possible. David is eloquent, no doubt, but he brought me to tears in a way I wasn't expecting. His command of words knows no bounds.

While we were dealing with the affairs of Arnold, David and I discovered we had lost another of our friends. Steve Nissman was 52 years old. David and I had know him for over a decade. David was closer to Steve than me, but we both enjoyed the time we spent with him. He will be sorely missed.

To finish the week, a close friend of mine suffering through some family issues was dealt a crushing blow to his family. He has a 2 1/2 year old daughter who likely won't have the comfort of her mother again soon.

Next week can't be worse, so let's hope it's better!

In Fond Memory of Arnold Huberman

David Huberman has been my best friend since shortly after I stopped wetting diapers. Consequently, over the last 30 years, his family has become my family. His mother, Phyllis, stood in as my mother at my wedding.

David called me today to tell me his father had passed away. I had to ask him to repeat himself, as this came as something of a shock to me. Arnie, as everyone I knew called him, was not well, but surely not ready to leave us.

I've had a curious relationship with Arnie over the years. During different times, he has offered counsel in a paternal role. He has also asked me to try to sway David's mind on something Arnie felt strongly about, but only when David wasn't listening. Through all of this, Arnie has been, well, family.

He was at my wedding, sitting close by on our special night. He came down to visit when our daughter was born. My dog, Serena, absolutely adores him when he comes to visit.

When I learned of Arnie's passing, I wanted nothing more than to hug my own father, which I was able to do in short order, followed by a hug from my wife and a slobbery kiss from my daughter. It's days like today I value tremendously the fact that my father lives 10 minutes from me.

My last conversation with Arnie was an interesting one. He always said exactly what was on his mind. No need for mincing words, no need to say something politically correct. David had warned me that Arnie wanted to pitch a business idea to him for a new venture. He wanted me to bring the idea to Russell to see if he would fund it.

Arnie is extremely strong-willed (stubborn, some might say). If he has his mind set about something, nobody is likely to change it. But on this occasion, he listened to his son. David had advised him not to make the hard sell, instead to ask me for help to set up a business plan. Arnie said all the right things, praising my business acumen, saying I was the only guy he knew that could help him get his arms around his idea.

I suppose I wouldn't have thought much about the conversation if David hadn't alerted me to it beforehand. I knew he had listened to his son's advice, something he probably did less often than David would have liked. It showed a side of Arnie I always enjoyed, the one that was profoundly proud of his son.

Sure, he worried about David. Arnie was blessed with Jewish mother's syndrome, and worried incessantly about both his children. But I think that he was proud of his son. Over the years, my infrequent conversations with Arnie were more about his concern for David's health and well being, and less about things he thought David might be doing wrong.

My father and I spoke before I got on the plane tonight. He said something along the lines of, "I hope I was a good enough father for you today." I can't remember the exact words, although not because I wasn't paying attention. It was comforting just to listen to my father, and to know he was there for me. I'm sure my reply didn't properly say how much his relationship means to me.

We're sitting here in Logan airport right now, waiting for David's sister to land. Tomorrow begins the process of winding down the life of Arnold Huberman. As has been the case with each of the people I've lost this year, he'll be sorely missed.

While it's impossible now to make sure that Arnie's loved ones were by him when he passed away, I can only hope his last moments were painless.

Rest in peace, Arnie.

Ruminating

Tonight I started working on my NCAA bracket pool for 2009, a 19-year ritual for me that I enjoy immensely, despite the sheer amount of time it takes to organize.

This lead me to a remembrance of my friend, Spero Peratino, who passed away a short time ago. I didn't expect the flood of emotions that followed.

It makes me want to live every moment to the fullest, and enjoy time with family and friends.

I'm off to the ACC tournament with my best friend, David, this week. My hope is that we'll be there for 4 days, culminating in watching Duke win the ACC tournament. But no matter the outcome, it'll be a great experience with family.

In Memory of Spero Peratino

I received a call from a friend today informing me that a friend of mine, Spero Peratino, had passed away last week. This came as a huge shock to me.

I've known Spero for a little over 10 years now. He was a salesman for a bakery called Uptown Bakers in DC when I was at Lansdowne back in 1998. We became quick friends, and stayed in touch long after my days at Lansdowne.

Spero left Uptown a number of years ago, giving him plenty of time to enjoy food and wine with friends. We shared a love of wine, good food, and ACC basketball. Spero was a huge Maryland basketball fan. Whenever Duke played Maryland, we would speak before and after the game, gloating and commiserating. Spero looked forward to my NCAA bracket challenge every year. He won more than he lost over the years, which is probably a good way to describe his life as I knew it.

Spero gave me a gift not long after I left Lansdowne. It was a 1985 magnum of Silver Oak (Napa) Cabernet Sauvignon. I resolved to open it on a special occasion. True to form, we opened it on our wedding night. To this day, we have fond memories around that bottle of wine.

I learned something interesting when I was told of Spero's passing. Apparently, a number of people who knew him didn't know he had started another career. Spero took a job about a year ago in procurement for Trader Joe's. He loved the job from the moment he took it. It was a subject of every phone conversation we had during the last year. Every single one. The job was a great source of pride for him.

I was touched to learn that he valued our friendship enough to share this joy with me. Spero was a private person, by nature. Knowing that he wanted to share these joys with me makes me both happy and sad. While I'm happy he valued our friendship, the part that makes me sad is that I could have taken more time to enjoy our time together.

As is the case in life, there was always an excuse for why we didn't get together enough. When things quieted down in the business world for me recently, I took the time to spend time with some close friends who I hadn't seen enough of. Unfortunately, it had been a while since Spero and I had sat down. Too long for good friends.

The last time we spoke, I told him about a friend of ours who had lost their job. We shared some time together, talking about good memories and bad. We ended the conversation with a promise to get together soon.

Spero ended every conversation with the same phrase. He spoke with bravato, and his voice rang out when he said, "We need to get together and drink some wine!"

It was as simple as that for him and I. I wasn't planning on having wine tonight. But I don't think it would be quite right without a glass. So, I'm sitting here, drinking a nice red zin, thinking of my friend.

I'll miss you dearly, my friend.

Palm Springs-Day 3

Day 3 saw markedly better weather than the last two days. After a disjointed run at breakfast, we headed down to the pool. While it was a bit chilly, the kids had an awesome time. The only downside was that a couple of the kids were too small to go down the big slide. We've got our first couple of pictures off the digital camera.

First, we've got Catherine, sitting with two of her cousins, Kiley and Jagger:


Then, we've got a few pictures of the mountains from the golf course, along with a picture of me attempting to hit a golf ball. All pictures are courtesy of my cousin Ron. Ron's claim to fame on this trip is trying to hit a golf shot to his left, and having the ball go right. It then hit a palm tree, bounced off and hit another tree, followed by what sounded like a wall, and finally ending up in someone's pool. Congratulations, Ron.



When we left the pool to go play golf, Michelle wasn't feeling well. By the time golf was done, she was curled up in bed, sick as a dog. We went and picked up food for dinner to eat in with the cousins. An early night for all, and hopefully feeling better for Day 4.

Stay tuned for more pictures, including some of our suite, along with some more of the beautiful Palm Springs landscape.

Palm Springs

So, ten members of my family are gathered in Palm Springs this week for a mini family reunion. We're staying at the Westin Rancho Mirage, which is a really nice property. We were lucky enough to receive an upgrade to the Presidential Suite. The entire family of 10 is sitting around the large dinner table catching up right now. Brief recap of our time so far:

Day 1: Arrive at SNA airport and drive to hotel (with a brief stop for Mexican food that didn't agree with us). We got here on a relatively cold day, but the kids had to get in the pool. So, we swam until 6 or 7, then had a late dinner and everyone collapsed. Peak temperature was *maybe* 60 degrees.

Day 2: We're in a desert, and yet it's raining sideways. We head to outlet malls and shop all day. Peak temperature was 50 degrees. Drenched and tired, we head back to the hotel. After a 40-minute wait for take-out, we bring in PF Chang's for dinner.

We hear there's sun in the forecast tomorrow, so here's hoping there will be better updates and pictures soon.

Catching Up

Hectic week, sorry for no updates. Michelle's grandmother passed away, so things are just getting back to normal after a subdued ceremony of family and friends. Plenty of tears as well as memories that brought smiles.

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Ours was an enjoyable one spent with lots of family.

Michelle and I are off to Barcelona tomorrow afternoon. So, next blog post will be from a tapas restaurant while we're sipping intriguing Spanish wines.

Stay tuned for pictures!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I spent over 12 hours last night and this morning cooking for 10 people. Along with the standard fare, here are a couple of things I prepared that don't fit into the standard Thanksgiving mold:

Crab and Boursin in Phyllo Shells (appetizer)
Deep Fried Turkey(burned the crap out of it)
Key Lime Mousse in Dark Chocolate Shells
Berries and Cream in Dark Chocolate Shells
Peanut Butter Cups in Chocolate Shells

The Key Lime Mousse was the big hit, especially with my wife!

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Update

Been traveling the last few days. David was released from the hospital a few hours after my last post on Wednesday. Just antibiotics to clear up pneumonia, no blood clots. A welcome relief.

More to follow later....

David Update

Don't you love it when doctors agree?

David is feeling much better. The chest pain has resided, and he is noticeably more animated. But his doctors can't agree on what ails him.

The pulmonologist and infectious disease specialist both agree on a rare strain of pneumonia. The radiologist thinks there are blood clots. They're all in a room fighting it out right now. There's a chance of another CT scan, since the first one wasn't as clear as it could be.

All indications point towards a healthier David with no clots. Let's hope for that one.

Oh, and thanks to anyone that decided to throw a prayer David's way.

David's In The Hospital

For those of you that know me personally, you know David has been my best friend for my entire adult life, dating back to our days together at Osborn school in the 3rd grade.

Well, David returned from a business trip on Thursday and proceeded to come down with a bad cold. The cold developed into pneumonia, which landed him in the ER. Don't worry, we haven't gotten to the scary part yet.

The admitting doctor picked up on something during David's exam and ordered additional tests. The short end to the long story is that David has a pulmonary embolism, or, more commonly, a blood clot in/headed toward his lungs. They're treating him now, and he is not in any obvious pain, but it's a pretty scary situation.

Those that know me well won't accuse me of being religious. But it really does seem like an appropriate time to ask for a couple of prayers....